Humbling...

The Easter season always brings about a renewed sense of humbleness for me. Knowing that Jesus died FOR ME and I was on His mind as he hung on the cross - just blows my mind. My heart immediately humbles just thinking about it. For me? Me?? The wannabe elementary teacher who moonlights as a Spanish teacher, just married, working on weightloss, trying to find a new job, attempting clean eating recipes. Who spends her free time watching Keeping up with the Kardashians, home improvement shows, and Teen Mom. Who avoids cleaning at all costs until it needs to be done. Who has a rust bucket of a car. Who is a normal regular 21 year old girl with an explosive (mostly annoying) over the top personality.  I mean, I'm not that great for someone to die for me. It's not that big of a deal. and I'm also not the greatest Christian.

Sometimes swear words leave my lips in times of anger. Sometimes I talk about people when I'm annoyed by them. I don't serve others with a selfless heart like I should. On days when my job is the most frustrating thing in the world and my students don't listen, I don't go to them to figure out where to make it better for them, I just shut down and give them homework.

Jesus died for this! ^^ he died for ME. he died for YOU. He died for every single person in this crazy messed up world because he LOVES us!

I've never understood the intense kind of love that makes you die for someone. People talked about it alot at times, especially when 9/11 happened and a lot of people went to war. Not only were there people dying for our country, but they were dying for their partners over there. Taking bombs and bullets daily for their friends. I didn't get it. I didn't think I could ever feel THAT MUCH for a person to die for them. Until I got married - there's some sort of thing that happens when you decide to spend the rest of your life with someone. It becomes less about the lovey dovey kissy hand holdy life and more about the permanent best friend that you get to live with every day. I would die for Jared in a heart beat if I had too, because I love him that much.

Jesus has this intense love for EACH AND EVERY person in this world! He feels the way I feel for Jared for everyone. My mind is blown - and I get goosebumps just thinking about the intense amount of love that He has for us.

There's an amazing hymn in our hymn book about God's love, titled, "The Love of God". The verses are simply beautifully written and the words are beyond comparison. One line says this, "Could we with ink the ocean fill and were the sky of parchment made, were every stalk on earth a quill and everyone a scribe by trade. To write the love of God above, would drain the ocean dry nor could the scroll, contain the whole that stretched from sky to sky." If we fill the ocean with ink, pretend the sky was parchment, use every stalk on earth as our pen and everyone began writing about God's love, we'd drain oceans, and we wouldn't even have enough room in the sky to write about it :) HOW AMAZING.

But back to Jesus, because he is what this entire weekend is about. He died and came back to us on Easter Sunday so we could have a new life! For this, I am eternally grateful and plan on telling Him so when I get to heaven. I often think of God's amazing grace in an old hymn..and if you know us Mennonites, you can definitely hear the 4 part harmony.

"Wonderful grace of Jesus, greater than all my sin...how can my tongue describe it? Where can this grace begin? Taking away my burdens, setting my spirit free, oh the wonderful grace of Jesus, reaches me.

Wonderful the matchless grace, the matchless grace of Jesus, deeper than the mighty rolling sea, the rolling sea. Wonderful grace all sufficient for me, for even me. Broader than the scope of my transgressions, sing it, greater far than all my sin and shame. Oh magnify the precious grace of Jesus, praise his name!"

AH. Thank you God for sending your son, thank you Jesus for your amazing sacrifice.