The Mennonite in me knows that apple dumplings are amazing when warmed and topped with ice cream, a good chicken or macaroni salad makes a great summer day sandwich, and the carbs...oh the carbs. Mashed, baked, cheesy, goodie (these shredded cheesy potato things) - you name the type of potato dish and I was ready to consume it.
I grew up on home cooked food and home made everything. We FEASTED at supper time, every night, and I still love my mama's cooking that she'll send home with me and Jared sometimes. Our Mennonite religion is a culture and it's food life has taken over and gotten me addicted. ( I want to write a book on this as some point - I'm not kidding. Like, how to eat like a Mennonite and train like a beast. ..or something...the title needs work...)
Anyways - back to my addiction. I realized it..on day 1 of the 21 day fix. When my every.single.thought. became about food. When can I eat next? How much do I get? That's not going to enough. I really want a McDonald's meal right now. Who cares about this stupid diet? I'm hungry. My stomach is going to eat itself. When can I eat again? That's too long.
I think that night I even dreamed of food.
Let's be real people, I'm a teacher. So during the day, my brain should be on like 5,000 other things rather than food, but once I was restricted, once I couldn't have it, it consumed my being.
Starting off on this 21 day fix thing, was literally as if my body was going through withdrawal. I had (and still kinda have) headaches. I was tired, exhausted, and cranky. I was shaky.
WHAT THE HECK. The food I was eating wasn't a drug, so why did I feel so addicted, why did I feel so ashamed for missing my old food, and why was I going through all of this withdrawal?!?
Because...my body was loaded down with processed foods, carbohydrates, and heavy heavy meats. I was eating until I couldn't move anymore (at each meal!) and I was slowly destroying my body.
So...I'm still addicted to food, let's be real, that's something that will never leave. But it's a different kind of food...
- a food that fuels my body instead of fattens it
- a food that comes from the ground instead of a drivethru window
- a food that has no "extras" instead of being covered in salt.
That's right kiddos - I'm addicted to organic food and I hope it can stay this way! I'm going to be honest, sometimes I still want salt, and potatoes, and amazingness of a FEAST. Those things are all okay, in moderation. I'm just hoping that I can become addicted to portioning my food and eating more organic and clean eating then ever before. My new mission: Make my husband love this too! :) It's a slow but steady start.... one foot in front of the other...
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