Hi, I'm Alyssa and I'm an emotional eater

Taking a moment to be completely vulnerable, honest, and open with you all again. Because the support from you is overwhelming as I am in the midst of this get healthy journey!

This week was a huge slap in the face. Hah! I was supposed to start the 21 day fix again - and I did - kinda. I ate clean Monday and Tuesday. But I had a cold and had no energy and was exhausted so I didn't work out. On Wednesday, I totally broke my clean eating streak and this continued all the way into Friday evening...

I'm so lame.

But I realized one important thing throughout this week and it's that I'm an emotional eater. Not just any emotion - all emotions!

Something good happened? Let's go out to eat to celebrate!
I'm extremely tired? Let's get McDonalds
Stressed out a bit? Enjoy a snickers candy bar!
Worried about the future? take 2 servings of everything
Period not arriving yet again? You deserve two cans of soda
Frustrated with my students? Grab a cookie from the faculty room
Really excited about a potential job interview? Eat half a pizza by yourself

All of these things happened this week! Thankfully my eating was clean 80% of the day, so I haven't gained any weight (Thanks Shakeology!) But I realized something so important...I let me emotions dictate how and what and when I eat instead of listening to my body. As women, our emotions are consistently on a roller coaster (not to stereotype, but that's honestly just how we work.) Jared and I have discovered how emotions affects men and women differently simply by being married.

When something goes wrong at work, Jared leaves it at work, comes home, and doesn't worry about it. If I couldn't find the right outfit in the morning before school, I bring that to school, share it with every faculty member and some students, come over, aggravated, and take it out on dinner where I probably make a feast because, "I've had a bad day." Men tend to compartmentalize their emotions into sections of their day, where we tend to smear our emotions into our entire day (which can be both good and bad!)

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my chest because I realized how much of an emotional eater I am! It's like, finally...a reason...that makes so much sense for why it's so easy for me to cheat on a meal plan. MY EMOTIONS!

So, my 21 day fix challenge group is starting on Monday and I have some amazing women in it and I plan on starting OVER with them again.

 Is it fun to say that I failed this week? No, but I'm failing forward! Is it reassuring to say I'll try again? Kinda, not really. But I have goals and did this 21 day fix before, so I know I can do it again! Jared will be on board with me and we'll kick some major couple booty! And I'm going to continue to pick myself up, dust myself off, and start again.

In the mean time...I'm kinda depressed because it's cold out, so I'm going to go eat pancakes covered in syrup.

kidding... ;)

(not kidding, it's the maple festival! But I'm going to eat pancakes because it's the Maple Festival, not because I'm sad that it's snowing at the end of March) But..on track tomorrow!

HEALTHY HOMEMADE Burgers

So, I married a man who loves food. Specifically meat. When we were completing the 21 day fix, I wasn't exactly the most creative person in the kitchen mostly because the planning process was slightly overwhelming. But then, Jared became kinda interested in the plan..and he started asking if we could add this or if we could switch it up with that...and I came to a realization...

Jared was being creative with our food...and it was actually way better....and way more filling...and 21 day fix approved!

So, I created a burger system..that to this day we still eat atleast once a week, if not twice! I decided to share this all with you!

INGREDIENTS
 - 1 lb of ground turkey meat
 - olive oil
 - minced garlic - 2 tablespoons
 - cumin
 - oregano
 - paprika
 - powdered garlic

(spices/seasonings are free game with the 21 day fix! Hallelujah!)

Mix the 2 tablespoons of minced garlic with the seasonings. I never actually measured out any of the seasonings, but if I guesstimated it'd probably be a full tablespoon of each. I just kinda put it what I feel like! Take some ground turkey meat and fill a red container with it (or about a 1/2 a cup). Take the meat out, roll it in a ball, and then form it into a patty. I usually place these in the skillet at this point and put some olive oil over them. I spread part of the seasoning on the side facing up. As it's cooking, I flip it every so often. When I flip it for the first time, I put some olive oil and the rest of the seasoning on the side I haven't seasoned yet. From there, I just flip it until it's done!

I serve this with a tortilla, some shredded cheese on top, and lettuce. A side of strawberries and a half baked potato make it the most delicious meal ever!

I'm addicted to food.....

I realized this addiction when I started my 21 day fix last week. I mean, I always knew I loved food.

The Mennonite in me knows that apple dumplings are amazing when warmed and topped with ice cream, a good chicken or macaroni salad makes a great summer day sandwich, and the carbs...oh the carbs. Mashed, baked, cheesy, goodie (these shredded cheesy potato things) - you name the type of potato dish and I was ready to consume it.

I grew up on home cooked food and home made everything. We FEASTED at supper time, every night, and I still love my mama's cooking that she'll send home with me and Jared sometimes. Our Mennonite religion is a culture and it's food life has taken over and gotten me addicted. ( I want to write a book on this as some point - I'm not kidding. Like, how to eat like a Mennonite and train like a beast. ..or something...the title needs work...)

Anyways - back to my addiction. I realized it..on day 1 of the 21 day fix. When my every.single.thought. became about food. When can I eat next? How much do I get? That's not going to enough. I really want a McDonald's meal right now. Who cares about this stupid diet? I'm hungry. My stomach is going to eat itself. When can I eat again? That's too long.

I think that night I even dreamed of food.

Let's be real people, I'm a teacher. So during the day, my brain should be on like 5,000 other things rather than food, but once I was restricted, once I couldn't have it, it consumed my being.

Starting off on this 21 day fix thing, was literally as if my body was going through withdrawal. I had (and still kinda have) headaches. I was tired, exhausted, and cranky. I was shaky.

WHAT THE HECK. The food I was eating wasn't a drug, so why did I feel so addicted, why did I feel so ashamed for missing my old food, and why was I going through all of this withdrawal?!?


Because...my body was loaded down with processed foods, carbohydrates, and heavy heavy meats. I was eating until I couldn't move anymore (at each meal!) and I was slowly destroying my body.

So...I'm still addicted to food, let's be real, that's something that will never leave. But it's a different kind of food...

 - a food that fuels my body instead of fattens it
 - a food that comes from the ground instead of a drivethru window
 - a food that has no "extras" instead of being covered in salt.

That's right kiddos - I'm addicted to organic food and I hope it can stay this way! I'm going to be honest, sometimes I still want salt, and potatoes, and amazingness of a FEAST. Those things are all okay, in moderation. I'm just hoping that I can become addicted to portioning my food and eating more organic and clean eating then ever before. My new mission: Make my husband love this too! :) It's a slow but steady start.... one foot in front of the other...