Just another fad

There's been some hubbub (is that a real word?)going around about the new independent consultant jobs that are suddenly coming out of the woodwork and bombarding social media - Jamberry, Mary Kay, Beachbody, Essential Oils, and Sabika are just a few examples, but there are a TON more.

This has been something that has been weighing heavily on my heart. There was a popular blog post that was shared thousands of times written from a woman's perspective on how she was unfriending anyone that was selling anything and that she was tired of it filling up her newsfeed. As an avid "facebook party" attender, I support all Jamberryists, Mary Kay Makeup Artists, Sabika jewelers, Beachbody coaches, and everyone else along the line. I mainly did it for the social aspect, the fun games we'd play in the evening for about an hour or so while I'm in my jammies watching TV. It was just a fun thing. This woman's blog post was so critical and attacking. It actually came across rather selfish, but at the time, I was so embarrassed. I'm a beachbody coach. I'm an independent consultant, technically speaking. Have I been doing this?? Have I been annoying and in people's faces?? Did I make people unfriend me?? #worrywart

Like usual in our social media driven world, an amazing blog post response was written responding to this blog against independent consultants. On this side, the woman wrote that although she can't afford and doesn't want to buy anything ALL the time, she supports the independent consultants. The ones being gutsy enough to post a sweaty selfie or a face with no makeup or those crazy before and afters. She supports them because they are trying to work hard, make money, and have fun at the same time. Is the first blog writer really that angry that people love their job?

I see both sides to the story. Sometimes people get annoying. Sometimes posts become too much. Sometimes you'd rather read the latest gossip of a Facebook friend's lives than learn about another deal, another discount, another group ;) I get it!

So - to those of you I annoy, I'm sorry! I'm sorry for the way my fitness spam and the crazy clean eating and the ridiculous sweaty selfies makes you feel. I'm sorry for the way it makes you feel, but I'm not sorry for them. If you want to know what's going on in my life, that's what it is! I'm working out, eating healthier, and I'm on my way to a WAY better me!

Y'all know me. You know I can't keep a secret, I talk 24/7 (yes, even in my sleep), and that I get way too excited about the littlest things! Then how do you expect me to keep quiet about something that is changing my life so drastically??!?!

Some people may be in it to make money - that's a definite perk. Some are in it because they fully endorse the product - like any girlboss should. But it's still a LARGE part of their life! Your friends are branching out on a limb, trying to begin their own business, create a new source of income, and it's time to show them support ;)

So - to all your Jamberry, Mary Kay, Essential Oils, Tastefully Simple, Sabika, Beachbody folks -- I love you! I'll attend any party you throw! AND I promise to support your business endeavors. To all my followers, readers, my luvahs, my friends, and my team, Support those around you! If you can't financially, at least participate in what you can do. We are on a mission!

As for me, I'm just going to keep on cheesin' in my selfies, trying to make the world a better place one workout at a time, and I'm going to keep on, keepin' on. ;)

Bad Attitude

Lately, I've been a total crank...


think like...mad just to be mad, no reason really, but also kinda sorta hoping for a reason so you don't look like a crazy person because you're mad...do you know what I mean? This past week I think I've yelled at Jared for the most stupidest things that could ever happen...like..we laugh about it now because when I yelled it didn't even make sense. And honestly, half the time he laughs at me anyways because my angry face is apparently hilarious. Who's to say?

I also got some pretty devastating news this past weekend. I've been trying hard to find a new job for next year (my Spanish certification was only for one year because I'm an elementary teacher) and so I've been applying and interviewing like a mad-woman. I had an interview for a kindergarten position(AKA dream job), amazing interview, amazing connections, perfect fit and I found out on Friday that they hired someone else. I literally BAWLED.

Like snot everywhere. Tears soaking the couch. My life was over. I was never going to find a job. We were never going to be financially okay. Life was terrible and I hated myself and everyone and everything. I think I sulked for a few hours. I think we went and got ice cream to make me feel better.
I don't really remember because those hours were a tear-stained blur. And when Jared brought it up the next morning, I burst into tears again. I felt so raw and vulnerable. I'm not saying that I didn't overreact. Most people would just pick themselves up, brush themselves off, and apply to the next job. I definitely was overreacting but I couldn't control the intense amount of emotions that had flooded me in seconds. The tears just flowed. and I felt raw. I felt emotion that I hadn't felt in a long time, a selfish emotion of not getting what I wanted, what I had planned, what I felt I deserved. So I took this crying selfie...

because I wanted you to see my vulnerability. I'm not always the happiest person, I'm not always kind, I'm not always "on" and "cute" and "incharge" like the rules I often play. This picture was so hard for me to even put into this blog. I wanted to delete it. I didn't want people to see it. and I even took 3 days writing this post because I was procrastinating on people seeing my cry face. But that's not what this about (keep reading..)

I really, truly felt that this is where I was supposed to be...but I'm slowly realizing, each day that I spend away from that terrible Friday evening, that maybe it wasn't. God surely must have an amazing plan in the works to pass me up for a job that I already thought was amazing. That being said, I've taken a new look on life.I realized how powerful our emotions are, how much they play a role in our days, our lives, even our weeks.
What happened sucked, obviously. Was it actually devastating? No. But I let it debilitate me, I let it put me in a funk for HOURS and almost a full 24 HOURS at that. I just felt cranky, upset, emotional, rock bottom and I couldn't take it anymore.

So here's what I'm saying (and mostly to myself..but I wanted you to see this too.) Yeah, situations suck sometimes. Life doesn't go how we planned, but God definitely has his own version of a plan that He already knows and has planned for us! SO. I'm praying, wishing, and knowing that God's will will be shown in HIS perfect timing, even if it's not mine.

A Letter to My Inner Self

Dear Inner Self,

Sometimes I forget about you.

Sometimes I forget about you because I'm so busy focusing on my outer self. And for this, Inner Self, I am so sorry.

Sometimes I forget about you...

Because my latest instagram post is more important.

Because my makeup and my hair need to be on point. 

Because my stretch marks on my tummy are extremely aggravating when I haven't even had kids yet. Because my thighs jiggle too much when I walk.

Because my belly spills over my jeans a little bit.

Because my nose is STILL crooked from when I broke it awhile ago. 

Because my acne seems to never leave. 

Because my period has caused more body problems than my 21 year self had ever thought possible.

Because my feet still seem to turn in, even after years of corrective shoes.

Because every time I shave my legs, I seem to miss an acre's worth of leg space.

Because my tummy is so squishy.

Because I want to look good so my students don't make comments on my clothes.

Because my hands aren't womanly at all and my nails won't grow.

Because I'm too busy making sure other people are happy with what I'm doing, instead of making me happy.

I'm so sorry, Inner Self. I'm so caught up in making my insecurities hidden that I forgot that I'm hiding you too.

Inner Self, you are there. You are there behind my daily mask, You are my most comfortable costume. I struggle. I struggle showing you to people, even the people I love with my whole heart, because let's be real, Inner Self, you are raw. You are me to the core and there's nothing to hide. 

Sometimes, Inner Self, you make me so mad! Maybe that's why I decide to ignore you. Maybe that's why I cover you up and worry about the outer me. 

Where are you when it's more about the sermon and less about what I wore to church? 

Where are you when it's time to love my husband even if he didn't do what I needed him too?

Where are you when I'm standing on the scale praying the number will be lower?

Where are you when I'm pinching all the fat that I wish would just disappear?

Where are you when I'm layering makeup all over my face to cover every imperfection?

Where are you when I spend way too many minutes making sure every hair is in place?

Where are you when I go through outfit after outfit feeling "too fat" each morning?

Where are you when I'm pretending to be happy all the time?

Where are you? Where? WHERE?!?!

Oh that's right, I've hidden you. I've hidden you beneath so many layers of "I'm not pretty enough", "I'll never look like that", and "I've always been fat." I've pushed you to the farthest corner of my being that even when it's time for you to come out, you can't, you don't, and you won't. 

Inner Self, sometimes I forget how beautiful you are. I forget how much you put personality over hair and makeup, how the heart matters so much more than the fat, how the number of people in your life are so much more important than the number on the scale, and how the mirror means nothing and the eyes mean everything.

Inner Self, if anything, here's what you would do...

You would love other people's instagrams

You would go makeup-less, because you already know you are beautiful

You would count those stretch marks as a battle well fought and a battle won. Memory of a triumph!

You would remind me that jiggly thighs mean room for muscle

You would know that a little bit of belly fat gives me curves

You would remember that my crooked nose gives me character and has a hilarious story behind it.

You would say that my pimples make me human.

You would love me through my aching belly and my never ending doctors appointments

You would know that my crooked feet have come such a long way.

You would laugh and say that my hairy legs will help keep me warm.

You would be assured that a squishy tummy is great for hugs from little ones.

You wouldn't even care what my students thought.

You would know that my hands have played more music and created more things than ever possible.

You would only care how happy you are, because you know that makes others happy too.

Inner Self, I'm crying now. You make so many dang things that I think are ugly, beautiful. YOU remind me who I am, why I'm a teacher, why I'm on this journey, and why I want to inspire others to love their inner selves too. You turn every situation around, reminding me of the REAL truth. And since I know you know me, you know I don't cry often. Thank you for being there, even if I hid you. Thank you for coming out of hiding to remind me of everything you are about. 

I wish a selfie could capture you, Inner Self. I promise that I'm going to unleash you to the world, slowly but surely you will become my entire self, and of that, I am sure. 

My Clean Kitchen

If you would've entered my kitchen 2 months ago, you probably would've been shocked.
It seemed normal to me, I swear. And maybe for some of you, this is your normal. It was my normal! And it had been my normal for 21 years!

But here is what my kitchen looked like....

1. The pantry was filled with cans of vegetables and soup, popcorn, chips, snack boxes of chip bags, crunchy bars, crackers. Boxes full of cake mixes and brownies mixes that I made almost weekly. WE HAD TONS OF SNACKS.
2. The window ledge had a huge sack of potatoes and lots of Sara Lee Bread Thins
3. Our freezer was STOCKED with frozen packages of french fries, tater tots, chicken nuggets, and pizzas.
4. Our garbage can was full of fast food bags and trash. Burger wrappers, fry containers, and soda cups were thrown in the trash and stacking up rapidly. We ate at a fast food place at least once a week.
5. Our fridge, ohhhh our fridge. hahahahahhaha, I'm seriously laughing out loud just thinking about what our fridge looked like before...hahahahah I can't stop laughing. Let's start with the door of the fridge...The top was FULL of butter. I bought 2 or three boxes of butter a week because I used so much butter in all of our cooking. We also had the LARGE size of all the thick and creamy dressings, sauces, and more. We had a ton of whip cream and ice cream toppings, our fridge door was complete junk. I used a lot of fruit and veggies in my cooking so that filled the bottom drawers. Our fridge was filled with Soda, Peach Tea, Iced Tea, and Milk. We rarely drank any water because we had plenty of other drinks to drink. We ate cheese and meat ALL DAY in everything. So our deli drawer was filled to the brim with pepperoni, salami, turkey, chicken, and 4 different types of cheese sliced. Our grocery bill was $200. And I thought that was good...


When I was preparing for the 21 day fix, I knew we wouldn't be able to eat like we always did. This probably wasn't the best way to get rid of the food, but rather than throwing it out, we basically gorged ourselves on food the night before we started! We ate and drank as much as we could to get rid of as much as we could.

What my kitchen looks like now....
1. The pantry is basically empty! I have lots of rice and quinoa, healthy flours and sugars, and a few vegetable cans left over from before (but I have yet to use them!) I use this space now to store extras. We have our olive jars and our peanut butter there too!
2. The window ledge has become the resting ground for our onions, just a small amount of potatoes, and all of our tortillas. We replaced our bread with tortillas!
3. Our freezer is simply full of meat (ground turkey and chicken, the healthy kind!) that I buy and don't use right away, so we want to save!
4. Our garbage can still fills up so much! But it's mainly with the meat packaging materials, or small bags of vegetables that I buy.
5. Our fridge... no butter! We use olive oil on everything now. We still have our dressings, but it's a slow process. All we have to drink is almond milk and water! Veggies and fruits stock the drawers and all of the shelves! Our meat and cheese for our sandwiches is limited and low sodium.

...and I spent $60 on groceries yesterday!


i thought I'd include a short snippet of my typical grocery list. Some of these I buy each week, some of them I buy every other week, just depending on how much it we eat :)

My typical grocery shopping list
1. bag of apples
2. bag of oranges
3. 2 cartons of strawberries
4. 1 bag of baby carrots
5. 1 head of lettuce
6. 1 container of minced garlic
7. turkey bacon
8. container of turkey lunch meat, low sodium
9. 1 bag of shredded mexican style cheese
10. 1 container of vanilla greek yogurt
11. 4 packs of 8 wheat tortillas
12. 2 packaged of 1 lb. ground turkey
13. 1 package of boneless skinless chicken breast
14. 2 Almond Milks
15. 1 jar of Organic peanut butter
16. 1 package of 18 eggs
17. 2 cucumbers
18. three green peppers
19. 2 tomatoes
20. almonds


THAT'S IT! AND I SPEND $60!

So, if you are trying to make your kitchen a clean eating kitchen, then I hope this list helps you out! It's a process and it takes time. YOU GOT THIS!

Support System

First – Welcome to my blog – I’m updating, renovating, editing, and trying to make my blog the best blog that it can be. So, you’ll just have to survive my constant changes for a while J

I've always had people who wanted me to follow my dreams, do big things, and were proud of all of my accomplishments! My parents (and sisters) came to every concert, boring awards assemblies, all graduations, ..you name it, they were there. I didn't realize how much I treasured that support until things got hard and I realized how much I NEEDED that support.

Especially in the health and fitness world.

Let's be real...

I grew up, I moved out, and I needed to cook for myself. That was fine with me. I didn't need them around all of the time to applaud as soon as I did good things. I got married, I had Jared :). 

As I started working out, Jared became the person that would make me do it on the days when I didn't want too. Jared was a great support system - and he still is! He always reminds me to participate in my squat group. 

I became a Beachbody coach in late August, early September. My family didn't (and still doesn't) take me seriously at all. I'm not sure if it's because they don't see how it fits into my life (because I don't live with them daily) or maybe it's because I'm not at my goal weight or my goal size, so they think it's another phase. I'm not quite sure. I'm not offended by it at all, it's more of an observation rather. As I began selling and promoting Beachbody products I have found no involvement or support from them whatsoever. I almost feel stupid talking to them about something that I'm so passionate about because in all honesty, they don't really care. Which is fine, they are allowed not to care.

But this brings me to my next point:

Where I have found the best support system in the entire world (besides my husband, who embarks on an adventure with me every day.)

CHALLENGE GROUPS! I have met the most amazing, supportive, and influential women in challenge groups that post every day. They celebrate with me when I lose those stubborn pounds and they mourn with me when that chocolate cake is too irresistible and I take a bite. They proudly share sweaty selfies with me every day - not afraid to be makeup-less, sweaty, and natural in front of a camera, motivating me to complete my workout for the day. They encourage me to keep going - through the lazy days, the stressful days, and the easy days. They know what it's like to build a relationship with someone, to be in constant contact, to help them find the program, and for it to either follow through or fall through. For these women, some who I have and never will meet in person, I am grateful!

Although I wish my family would invest and involve themselves in my Beachbody life, I know it will come with time.  Especially as they start seeing my progress! :) However, I want to stress the importance of a challenge group, the solid foundation and support system that helped me complete workout programs day in and day out. Challenge groups are constantly forming and going on all around you - please ask me! If there isn't a challenge group for you, I will make one!

We all need support in life - whether for our passions, our jobs, our kids, and our marriages. Take advantage of that support. You can do it on your own, I'm not saying you can't! But, the journey is so much easier, the progress is so much sweeter, and the end result is so much better when you have your cheer leading squad running alongside you the entire way. 

Love and blessings to you all..